My life.

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” John 9:1-5

I'm adopted. I think most of you who read this know that. My life as a child was...different. It was not the "norm" but now-a-days it seems to be the new normal. My parents never got married, and I was a surprise baby. As I grew up, my Dad came in and out of my life. My mom was a single mom trying to support her family. Her being diagnosed with OCD made things worse, and extremely tough on the both of us. A lot of things happened as a child, I have some vivid memories. A lot of men came to my house at night, and my mom spent a lot of late nights out. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to my mom sleeping by the toilet. There was a lot of screaming, hitting, and police visits in the middle of the night. Eventually I went to live with my dad. I was on the verge of being a teenager, and man oh man I got myself into a lot of crap. I started shop lifting, smoking, drinking, and hanging out with the wrong crowd, mainly the wrong guys. I witnessed a lot of drinking and drugs at home. Most people laugh and think I'm joking when I tell them I've done drugs. I've had nights full of running from the police, and getting caught.

Since all of this, I've come to know Christ personally. He is my best friend, honestly my only true and faithful friend. Less than a year after I got saved the Kamber's got 2 year custody of me and I turned 18 last week.

I realize these things happened so that the work of God would be displayed in my life. But it hurts! I can't even describe the pain. I haven't talked to my mom in a little over a year. Not because she doesn't want to, but because I don't know what to say.

Mom and Dad, if either of you are reading this I want you to know that I love you. I do from the bottom of my heart. I know I may not have shown you recently that I love you, but I always will. NO MATTER WHAT. Nothing that has happened will determine how much I love you. I love you both as high as the sky, and all the way up to Jesus. I also want you to know that I'm not writing these things to make you look bad, but to show you that God allowed all of this to happen to us so that He can reveal Himself to us. He wants to use us to show His glory to the world.

In Cars 2, Mater is given the chance to have all of his dents taken out. But he replies that he doesn't want them taken out, because they are memories to him. They have shaped him and made him into who he is now. Even though my "dents" have hurt me, they are who I am. I've learned from them, I've overcome them. Jesus has healed me and allowed me to use them for His glory. This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in my life.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

In view of..

God's mercy.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

In view of God's mercy... How can I not try to please my God with my life?

In view of God's mercy... How can I not show gratitude towards Him, when He has given everything for me?

In view of God's mercy... When we truly consider how His mercy was shown and what it has done to our lives, how can we respond in any less of a way than "Here I am, Lord send me." Hands held high, opened wide, and full of surrender.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8

Then Noah built an alter to the LORD and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, He sacrificed burnt offerings on it. The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in His heart, "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though all inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done. Genesis 8:20, 21

God, how wonderful You are! PLEASE let my sacrifice to You be a pleasing aroma.. Let it cause Your heart to remember Your promises and Your covenant to all of mankind. Let it bring a smile to Your face, Jesus.

Loved.

The college entrance essay for Mrs.Batchelor's class...

The rough concrete under my bare legs scratched coarsely as I rocked back and forth crying, “Mommy please let me in!” Surrounded by still darkness, I did not dare attempt to open the door. I knew it remained locked. I could not feel the cutting wind or the fat raindrops hit me, solely consumed by how invisible I felt as she stared at me chillingly. My uncontrollable shivering stemmed not from the cold November night, but the overwhelming knowledge of my mother’s love locked away from me on the other side of that glass door; separated from my Mommy’s warm arms. An act done by her with intention.

Flash-forward… I now lay covered by the new blankets in my new bed, hearing echoes of my new family giggling and playing downstairs. Warm and safe, protected and loved describe the emotions that now fill my once lonely heart. Thankfully, a family opened their life, their home and most importantly, their arms to accept me. They set an example of what I am called to do with my life.

Speaking to helpless children of neglect, young adults filled with loneliness, and men and women around the world with starving hearts allows me to share my message of hope. The intimate message of the love that found me, a love that took an orphan in, now explodes from within me. That gift of love demonstrated towards me draws my heart to do the same for others. Advocacy of mental illnesses that daily pollute the lives of children proves a cause worthy to fight for. I want to study psychology in the hope of grasping the human mind, the illnesses and tendencies of different diseases. This education will equip me with knowledge a child psychologist requires, proactively speaking for children unable to defend themselves. Counseling children and leading them into lives unhindered by mental illnesses motivates me to make a difference for them just as a family made a difference for a little girl on the wrong side of the door.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18