goodbye 20, hello 21.

At the end of this week I will get to celebrate the 21 years that I've been able to live so far, and the excitement of the new one to come. The highly anticipated 21st birthday :)

In South Africa there is a culture of adulthood that comes with a 21st birthday. You become a man or a woman when you turn 21. Now, in America I felt that I became an adult at 18 (especially with that whole moving-to-another-country-on-my-own-thing), but I ended up having another 3 more years before anyone would even think of calling me an adult. Boo.

BUT NOW I'M BIG!

And I'm going to claim 21 as my entrance into adulthood.....all sophisticated and wise, and stuff like that.

As I was thinking about the excitement of another birthday, I couldn't help but reflect back on all that I've learned in the past 20 something years of my life and all that I wish I had known when I was younger. So, to celebrate this beautiful thing called life, I've written a list of 20 things I've learned over the years: things that I never want to forget and things I had wished I'd known earlier.

Also, please enjoy some random pictures of Paris, mainly Notre Dame :)

1. Chocolate is wonderful. It is scientifically proven to help you study, and it helps with any type of heart break. Eat it and don't be ashamed.

2. Stop being lazy and do what is expected of you. You have responsibilities. If you don't do them, you're only making life harder on yourself. So do them in a timely and productive manner.

3. No matter what happens to you in life, there is always a way to make it work for your good. Seriously, the worst of the worst can make you feel like the world is over, but I promise you that you can have victory over it and make it your crown. There is good in everything, and you have the opportunity to welcome it.

4. Be brave. If you're afraid of doing something, close your eyes, focus your attention, and embrace the beautifully terrifying and unknown opportunities before you. There is always a reward in facing your fears.

5. Enjoy the moment you are in. Don't rush ahead and think about what is happening next, or tomorrow, or worrying about that one thing, but rather work on enjoying the moment that you are in. Take in your surroundings, the smells, the colours, the mannerism of the people you love. Enjoy this moment. Have fun.

6. Learn how to be semi-organised, even if it isn't your natural tendency. Or at least get into the habit of putting things where they go. This really will help you to be more productive, and minimise your stress.

7. Real life happens outside of Instagram and Facebook. I know, it's crazy to think about, but it's not necessary for the world to see moments of your life for them to be valuable, memorable, or desirable. The amount of likes doesn't determine the significance or excitement of you or your life.

8. Get out of your comfort zone. Learn how to talk to all types of people... the old, the young, the shy, the loud, the awkward, and.....the painfully awkward. Talk to them. Build relationships. It helps you in the long run, I promise.

9. Learn to say no. Learn how to know when it is the right time to say no, and when you're just being selfish and should actually say yes. It's a tricky thing to figure out, but you can do it.

10. It's okay to cry. Our society has put a negative connotation on emotions, but the reality is some people are emotionally wired. Embrace your emotions, wallow in them for a bit, and then allow them to turn into compassion. If you are lonely, think about other people who experience the same thing. If you are angry because of an injustice, use that to motivate you. Allow your emotions to help you empathise with others.

11. Take vitamins and drink water everyday. For real. Also, get outside and walk or something. Hello exercise!

12. Realise that a busy schedule and full social life does not always make you happy. Spending time on your own is so fulfilling. Learn about who you are without trying to find yourself in the midst of other peoples opinion of you.

13. Please please please never forget that you are whole and more than enough on your own. With Christ in your heart and the satisfaction of knowing Him, you do not need anything else to complete you. No reputation, no group of friends, no husband/wife, no beauty, no wardrobe, no job, no amount of money. Nothing. His grace is more than sufficient. 

14. Be open minded and learn. Learn about the world and the people in it. Seek to better understand people from different backgrounds, cultures and religions. Make friends with them. Help them. Allow them to help you.

15. Pay attention in that high school foreign language class. Seriously. Actually, just pay attention in all of the classes you ever take. Knowledge is power.

16. Do what you desire. Learn about yourself and the dreams and talents you have. Grow your strengths. Dream of changing the world in your own way, and don't stop until you accomplish it. You have opportunities all around you, take them.

17. Evaluate your beliefs. What do you truly believe? Do you believe that because you've been told to believe it, or is it your personal conviction? Find where you stand and stand strong.

18. Continually challenge yourself to be teachable and to grow.

19. You will never be liked by everyone. Please learn that and accept that it doesn't demean your worth or value. Not everyone will understand you. People will be difficult. Maybe you'll be difficult. Conflicts will arise, but you are you and and you are beautifully imperfect, perfected by a God who is absolutely flawless.

If there is one thing that I really don't want to forget, it is that life is short. I may not have a life full of many years, but I have today, and I want to take today as a gift and live it intentionally.

"I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinarily, ordinary life." - About Time

20. Please please please never forget that life is short, and you only have a small amount of time to impact the people around you. Love everyone you come into contact with and reflect the heart of God in all that you do. Never get too busy to remember that you have a purpose here, and that is to know God and make Him known to the world.

We need you, man of honour...

I don't know why I am attempting such a thing as this. Maybe I'm a little bit crazy.

A good friend of mine asked me a few really big questions the other day about dating, guys, boundaries, and basically, why did it have to be such a mess?

Just weeks before that I was at a friends house with a bunch of other friends, a nice mix of guys and girls. The question came up, "What do you ladies dislike most about Christian men when it comes to dating?"

Deep sigh.

Now that I've thought about it, I can't help but remember having a bunch of group discussions where they all eventually diverge to that one hot topic: relationships. 

I don't know everything, and I may be a little biased, but what I've gathered from the girls I know, there are a few basic points that we as ladies would love you as Christian men to know.

So, here is an open letter to all the Christian men who are interested in the pursuit of a dating relationship:

Dear Christian Men,

1. What happened to your courage?
What happened to your courage that would lead you to boldly ask a girl out on a date? Do you remember that era (It feels like it has been that long)? All we seem to remember these days are ambiguous coffee "dates" or casual hang outs. I know you want to get to know a girl, but can't you rather do that in a group environment that protects her heart from wondering about the unknown? Can't you find the courage to show that you are interested in getting to know her more, and clarify that through your words rather than just asking her to hang out one on one? You know that we are girls and that we over think almost everything. You can, of course, just expect us not to over think things, but the reality is you could easily clarify the situation to help us guard our hearts. I'm not taking away from the fact that we should definitely practise some self-control. The load isn't all on you, I promise.

I have heard of so many men asking ladies out for coffee without any clarification of intention. I'm not saying things need to be serious from the beginning and that you need to decide to be in a committed relationship headed toward marriage at that first coffee date, but I honestly don't think it would hurt if you simply said, "Hey, I think you're great, and I would really like to get to know you better."

Ladies, don't go crazy. Stop yourself from dreaming about your wedding and what your future children may look like. Stop. For real. Practise self-control and take your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

2. You are stronger than any intimidation. 
Now trust me, I understand. There are a bunch of things that you might be intimidated by. You may be thinking, "What if this chick gets super serious really quickly?" You are not committed to a relationship by taking a girl out for coffee. That is not what you signed up for. And that is why clarifying your intentions can be so beneficial to all people involved. It enables you to defend your character and your motives, as well as to protect and guard her heart.

I'm sure the thought of rejection is intimidating also. Actually, I'm more than sure of it. And the reality is, being bold and taking a step out of your comfort zone means there is a bit of vulnerability. Rejection may happen. You may get "bat". But, you have immense worth despite that. You have such a vital role to play in this world, and only you can fulfil it. Do not let any rejection from any human being stop you from acting as the man God has created and called you to be. In the same way, you should never be afraid to tell a girl that you do not see your relationship moving toward a romantic relationship. You don't have to ignore her. You don't have to starting being slightly mean to send subliminal messages to her. You don't have to be afraid to lovingly express to her that you are simply not interested in continuing the pursuit of a relationship. If you've been prayerfully seeking God's voice, listening to what He is saying, honouring her by protecting her heart, then you are simply respecting her in another way by being up front and honest with her. This doesn't take away from her value or worth because it is God given. Do not allow intimidation to take away from the way you can honour her.

I've got to be honest, the men around me who have been up front, forward and honest with me have gained all of my respect. Mainly because I know they are more concerned about me than their pride. That always sets an example to me of how valued I am by them and God.

3. Be Intentional.
You may not be ready to ask her out on a date yet, but I think the best way to honour her as your sister in Christ is to put the two of you in healthy and safe environments that would give you the opportunity to get to know her without crossing any boundaries as more than her brother. Maybe don't speak to her all the time over social media or over text messages. Maybe it would be a good idea to refrain from flirting or showing her loads of attention if you aren't yet ready to make the small commitment of putting yourself out there and clarifying that you are interested in getting to know her more. Maybe ambiguous one on ones are more harmful to the both of you than you know.

I hate to say it, but Christian guys (I'm sorry for the generalisation) have been known to lead girls on, speaking to them on a regular basis, taking them out for coffee dates without clarifying if they had any intention or not, and then all of a sudden "dropping" girls - cutting off all communication, ignoring them, and so on. I know relationships aren't easy. I know it's difficult to figure out what you want, but you have the responsibility to take care of her heart.

That girl that you would like to get to know better? You get to model Christ through the way you pursue her. Protect her. Don't ask for her intimacy - physically, emotionally, or spiritually, until you are prepared to commit to her. And if you aren't sure you want to ask her on a date, I'm not sure if you are ready to make a genuine commitment.

"The reward of commitment is intimacy."

I've experienced so many guys and girls who have ended up confused and hurt because the other person didn't communicate their feelings or intentions well or at all. I've come across a lot of guys who thought they were doing the right thing by simply taking a girl to coffee, but she ended up reading it as just coffee, and after the third time he had asked her, she had to clarify that she was not interested in that way. He ended up really hurt, and it all could have been avoided.

I don't want that to happen to you or anyone else.

There are so many practical ways to honour yourself and her by being proactive and intentional with these types of situations. I know that all situations are different and bring their own difficulties, but I am 100 percent sure there are healthy and safe approaches to each and every one of those situations.

4. We need you to be a man of honour.
But more than anything I've already written, I want you to know this: We need you. You have been created to bear the image of God as a creator, a leader, and a protector. You have a wild side in you that God Himself gave you, furnished with the desire and ability to fight, conquer, and protect. More than anything, we need you to know the value that you possess. We need you to know that despite all the rejection you have faced, we need you as our brothers to come to our defence. We need you to love and honour us as your sisters in Christ and to reflect the value we have in the eyes of our Creator.

You have a role to play in this world that only you can fulfil. You are more than enough. You are more than capable. Be the man that you have been created to be. Rise to the occasion.

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:11-12

With the love of Jesus,
Your sister in Christ

Pearls.

God has been writing this story over the past 2 months. Some of it has been written at different points over the two months, and God has continued to weave the story together. My story is all for His glory. My life is a tapestry of His grace. 

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You are My daughter. 

Weeks ago I sat in front of this computer with my fingers on the keys, creating music according to the thoughts and words I saw reflected on the screen. I couldn't find the right words. The rhythm consisted of an influx of typing, a pause, and a continual pound, "delete, delete, delete..." My heart wanted to express the awe I felt of knowing that I was the daughter of God, but I didn't quite know how to do that.

He reminded me of His truth reflected through an earthly example of love and redemption. Over the past few months He has kept reminded me of this, revealing more of Himself as Daddy.

I was brought into a new family just weeks before I turned 16. This family showed me unconditional love, exemplified the patience of God's kindness, but more than that, they adored me as I was and desired me to know the full extend of God's holiness and calling on my life.

But life was not easy in the beginning. My understanding of love was completely broken. I thought that true love meant doing enough for someone, a constant striving to be good enough, to prove I possessed value, to make them love me. I was a bit of a mess. And yet this new family stuck by me. They prayed and protected me as God deconstructed my understanding of love, and replaced it with His.

I realised somewhere within the 2 and a half years of living with them, that I was truly theirs. I was the daughter of Ernie and Carey Kamber, the granddaughter of my Grams and Papa, the ones who took me as their own, no questions asked. Two years later, that was confirmed.

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It was months ago when I got the message that my grams had passed away. I was sitting in a lecture, completely unprepared, truly feeling the distance of the ocean left between me and my family. I didn't get to properly say goodbye. I didn't get to tell her how much I loved her, or hug her, or kiss her cheek. My heart was so sore. I felt like I hadn't loved her enough. I didn't get to know her well enough. I was only hers for 2 and a half years. Did she know I loved her? Did she know I was honoured to be her granddaughter? Did she know how thankful I was for raising her son in such a way that would mould him into the father he is to me today?

Even after she was gone, she affirmed that she loved me. I was her granddaughter. In her mind and heart, I was a Kamber. She left me with her pearls. Pearls that had been given to her by her mother-in-law. Pearls that held so much history. Pearls that had been in the family for decades. Pearls that had been worn by women in the Kamber family.

And now I had the privilege of hanging those pearls around my neck and wearing them on my finger.

It may seem small, but for me that was a huge moment in my life. My natural tendency was to doubt if I was truly a part of the family, but that gesture set it in stone on my heart that I am theirs.

I am a Kamber.

Last weekend I found myself sitting in a room full of women, engaging in the Word of God and seeking to hear from Him. I was a little skeptical. I wanted to hear from Him, but I didn't know how these people thought they were going to speak into my life when we had just met an hour ago. Someone asked if they could pray for me, taking her hand and placing my hand over my heart. She pressed her hand on top of mine and prayed. It was as if this woman saw into the depths of my heart, praying that God would show me that I am not His step-daughter, or seen as handicapped to Him.

Do I really view myself as a daughter of God?


In that moment I was so overwhelmed with realising how often I can fall into the trap of thinking God views me as His step-daughter... The one handicapped by sin... The one who struggles with obedience... The one who is never good enough. I think God is tired of me at times. I'm too much of a hassle. He doesn't want to hear my lousy, weak prayers again. He doesn't want to hear my tired plead for forgiveness yet again.

It was in that conference that God spoke so clearly to me through the women around me. We had a time of praying over each other and asking God to show us the true beauty and design He had for us as individuals. When they prayed over me, I was appalled at how God had shown them His desire for my life and the heart that He had created in me. They shared what God had shown them, and what He had shown them described me perfectly.

I sat there and cried. The God of the heavens knows my heart.

God knows your heart so intimately and deeply.

The God who named the stars named you, calling you His. He created you. He adopted you by not only His will, but by His pleasure. He took you from an orphaned life, not leaving you, but coming to you. He spent His life for you. He spilled His blood for you. He conquered death for you. He brought you from death to life.


If you are under His blood, You are His precious child.

Yesterday I was asked to share my testimony at a local church. As I woke up in the morning I got dressed, and delicately pulled out my pearls. I was honoured to be able to carry the Kamber family in my heart and around my neck as I shared the story that God had written. There were tears all around the congregation because people saw the earthly picture that God used to display His heart for us.

I got home and read my day word for that day - "Your story is for His glory (Hebrews 12:1-3)". In January I had prayed over the days of the year, asking God to speak to me clearly. For May 18th, God lead me to write that, of course, with Him knowing that I would share His story in my life on that morning. He once again affirmed that He is close, and that He is the Author and Perfecter of my life and my faith. All that He has done in my life is to glorify Him and to display Him as a our loving Heavenly Father.

He takes us out of our sin, our mess, our lives that never measure up - and He adopts us. He makes us His despite all that was against us. He knows us. He knows each day. He understands us. He loves us.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1a

We are His beloved children. 

For more: 1 John 3:1-3, John 14:18, Hebrews 12:1-3, Ephesians 1:3-12, Psalm 8:3-4, Isaiah 40, & Isaiah 43:7

40 days.

I grew up in the Roman Catholic church and remember Lent as the counting down of days until I could drink Vanilla Coke again (I always chose Vanilla Coke, year after year). The days dragged.

Now, a decade later I've finally glimpsed into the season of Lent and how it can so beautifully prepare our hearts for the day Christ sacrificed Himself, and just days later, when He was so powerfully raised from the dead.

This season is what makes Christianity so different. This whole God in the flesh, sin taking and death defeating thing is so different from anything I've ever heard. It is different from anything I have ever experienced. And yet so many of us don't intentionally open our hearts, minds or lives to marvel at what He has overcome. We pass through the time that builds up to the day of the Crucifixion and Resurrection and let it become another tradition, religious practise, and yet another commercialised holiday centered around us.

But this year I really want to stop, watch and act. I want to so intently look into the life and ministry of Jesus to better understand the depth of His death and resurrection.

Now I'm not used to truly practising Lent, but this morning as I was reading through the first few chapters of Luke I realised that I want to put myself in the same situation that Jesus did. Just after He was baptised and the Holy Sprit, along with the blessing of the Father, came down on Jesus, He went out willingly into the wilderness for 40 days. He was fasting, was hungry, and faced temptations all the while. God in the flesh put Himself in the wilderness so that He could fast, pray, seek God, and become even more dependent on His Father.

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord... I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:8, 10 -11 

I want to willingly put myself in a wilderness that is going to teach me dependence on my Father and bring me closer to Him. I want to gaze into the mysteries of who Jesus is, the lessons He taught, the miracles He preformed, the rejection He experienced, the compassion He felt, the sin He took, the penalty He paid, the suffering He knew, and the battle He defeated. I want to know Jesus in His resurrection. I want to know Life.

I want to be aware and awakened to Jesus during this season leading up to Easter.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple. Psalm 27:4

Maybe you're skeptical about the practicalities of Lent. Maybe it has always been a religious practise of, you know, "that" other denomination. Maybe you don't know what you could possibly fast or “give up”. I want to challenge you to seek God and ask what you could do. Ask what wilderness you could willingly put yourself into to see more of Him in the glory of His Son's suffering and resurrection.

So, if you're keen to do this with a few of us friends over here who want to do this Lent thing, check it out. Think about it. It might be different from what you've done before, but we are all wanting to challenge ourselves and see more of Jesus in our daily lives. We want to come to Resurrection day and know that our hearts have changed because we've met with Jesus. That is the point of all of this.

Seriously though, if you're interested and want to do this go on over to Brett's blog and let him know that you're in. There will be something new each day so keep your eyes on it.

Or, for other ideas that are extremely helpful, check out some of these ideas over here.

This season has the ability to change your whole understanding of Christ, who He is, and who you are in light of that. Don't take the chance of passing up such a beautiful season of dependence and awareness of Christ Himself.

Grace disguised.

You created all of this. You created life and all that exists. You created out of Yourself, from the dust, breathing Your life into us. We were created to know You personally and truly. Our hearts desire relationship with You above all else, but that perfection was broken. Sin took the life from our hearts and we were made enemies with the One we need most. We died, all of us, in that garden. Now we search for life in all that is around us. Jobs, purpose, passion, people, friends, marriage, beauty, reputation, positions, power, authority, money, or possessions. We are constantly looking for fulfilment because we need our dead hearts to come back to life. We search for life in the created rather than the Creator of life. Everything around us offers us a small and sweet taste of life, only leaving us with the bitter aftertaste of our reality - death apart from a Saviour. You, and nothing but You, are what truly satisfies a starving soul. We know that because it has been set down deeply in the hearts of the children that You have raised from death to life. Yet we still rebel. We run. We prostitute ourselves. You are sickened, angry, hurt, and yet chose to lavish compassion and immeasurable grace - grace disguised.

You know the pain we cause ourselves and You refuse to let us destroy ourselves. We search for satisfaction and You thwart our plans. Grace disguised. We find dependency and safety in man-made shelters and You allow chaos, leaving You alone as our dependency. Grace disguised. We set small dreams before us and for our future and You blow in like the rushing of a Mighty Wind, blowing them away, only to replace them with better ones. Grace disguised. You never cause pain without a purpose. You never scold us of our sin without offering us a hand to walk as the children You've designed us to be. You never rebuke us without calling to us, "Come now, let us settle this.." (Isaiah 1:18). You never watch us wallow in our death without offering Life, though grace may seem disguised.

The reality of this world is that we are fallen human beings, desperately starving for life. Life that You so abundantly, and yet ironically, offered through death. Grace was disguised that day, covered in the battered and beaten skin of a man housing the fullness of God. Nailed to a tree with undeniable force and hatred by His own creation. The Father's grace was covered in wrath. Jesus offered grace through accepting the Father's wrath in it's entirety. The weight of every sin of every human being to ever walk the earth was thrown onto the man who was God incarnate. He took it. The Father watched Himself - His beloved and precious Son - as He was brutally murdered. They were absolutely separated from one another, the pain evident as the Son cried out to His Father... "Why have You forsaken me?" Grace on that day, was disguised by wrath.

"Jesus wrecked my life, shattered it to pieces and put it back together more beautifully." - Katie Davis

I've been reading through Isaiah the past few days and God continually speaks about the rebellion of His children. God rebukes Judah, calling them out on all of their sin and telling them of how they have hurt and destroyed themselves. He is harsh, but always offers grace and compassion. He recognises their sin and rebellion but then calls them out of their mess into the beauty that God created them to be. But that required His judgement to fall, burning away all that they rely on and all that they find satisfaction in.

The Lord says "Beautiful Zion is haughty, craning her elegant neck, flirting with her eyes, walking with dainty steps, tinkling her ankle bracelets. So the Lord will send scabs on her head; the Lord will make beautiful Zion bald." On that day of judgement the Lord will strip away everything that makes her beautiful... Instead of smelling of sweet perfume, she will stink. She will wear a rope for a sash, and her elegant hair will fall out... Shame will replace her beauty. Isaiah 3:16-18, 24

And yet..

The Lord will wash the filth from beautiful Zion and cleanse Jerusalem of its bloodstains with the hot breath of fiery judgment. Isaiah 4:4



















What if the loneliness we experience is to teach us that we find true companionship in God?

What if our singleness or marriage leaves us with an emptiness that points to the only One who can truly satisfy?

What if our relationships fall apart all around us, directing us back to our Creator who wants to lavish us with His unending and unfailing love?

What if we feel purpose-less, but God uses that to open our eyes to a lasting purpose that will echo into eternity?

What if we are battling with depression, but it is for the purpose of teaching us true joy and peace that can endure any circumstance?

What if the loss of close family members teaches us that what truly matters in this life is how we love?

What if our insecurities push us to find our true identity in Christ, embracing our weaknesses and knowing His grace is more than sufficient for us?

What if the answers to our questions are delayed, only causing us to trust in God's sovereign character?

What if the feelings of hopelessness are there to push us to find hope in Christ, and to love those without hope?

God's desire for us is that we would know true life and find true satisfaction in all that Jesus is for us in God. What if the trials we are facing is the way that God prunes us of the empty promises we are trusting in. What if God has allowed this for your greater good? What if your Father is teaching you a beautiful lesson through discipline? Yes, it may feel like wrath now, but what if it sets you up in the end for His greater good for you? Isn't it worth it?

For me personally, 2013 was a year of finding true satisfaction and life in Jesus despite pain. I want to challenge you to look around and search for God's grace in disguise. It's there. I promise you.