It was exactly a year ago that I was on the verge of breaking. Rather, I was broken, completely distraught and frustrated and empty. The circumstances felt absolutely unbearable. The only logical solution, in my mind, was to jump on a plane, hand in hand with my father and go back to my family, my home, my comfort-zone. "It's logical," I reasoned. I told myself it was the only way out of this terrible pit I was stuck in. But once again, I forgot about The Who and how I got here. I forgot of His faithfulness and the testimony He was the author of. How could I lose sight of the beautiful story that was hand-written by God?
It was exactly two years ago that my heart burned to be wherever God was calling. Blinded by God for dependancy and trust, I had nothing else to hold but His hand. He would shine just enough light for the next step, then left me with darkness, faith, trust, and patience as I clung to His word and His promises. Then in His timing, He'd shine just enough light again. I really learned to lean on Him. I knew God was leading me to another country that I would call home, but what about the where, when, and how? "Shhh My daughter.." Oh how I remember His word: Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. Habakkuk 1:5 And He showed me, boy oh boy did He show me! South Africa, repeatedly. Two South African pastors visited our church within 6 months. A youth camp that showed videos, faces, places filled with everything that was South African, a devotional book with a photo of Cape Town and the beautiful face of a girl who is now a dear, dear friend. God was the author of this story, orchestrating and demonstrating His sovereignty and divinity! He is The Who and how of my story, His story.
I couldn't help but well up with thankfulness and joy as my hands were covered in dish soap and my heart giddy, pondering His faithfulness tonight. It's in the cleaning up, the assignment writing, the e-mails and phone calls, the frustrations and joys of every circumstance that our hearts must remember His faithfulness.
I'm still here, I'm still in this beautiful city that God created me to pass through, and I can't help but praise Him for His orchestration, His hand prints, His divine intervention into my plans and dreams to place me in this WONDERFUL city I call home. Had I not looked back, this story may have been twisted and different. But once again, my heart caught a glimpse of His faithfulness.
Don't forget His faithfulness. Step back, clear your mind, and remind yourself of every single faithful act God has accomplished in your life. Look back at your history and watch - and be utterly amazed. For He has done something in your days that is unbelievable, a demonstration of His power, His faithfulness. Adjust your focus from the here and now, be reminded and focus on The Who and how of the story He has written and is currently writing!
Just a little look back over the past year:
The youth girls I get to work with regularly. I've had many many proud "mommy" moments when I am amazed at the growth and maturity of these girls. I love love love seeing them fall in love with Jesus and serve Him in everything they do. It's such a privilege to walk with them.
My precious lovelies who we were able to serve many times last year through soup and clothing. But also through love and laughs and giggles as I spoke afrikaans to them and they sat on my lap and played with my hair and interlocked their fingers into mine. Love love love these four girls!
A semester at Arise Ministries was challenging and frustrating at times, but so rewarding. Funny enough, I loved the "naughty" children the most, and they clung to me. All the playing, jumping, and chasing was amazing, but the teaching and talking about Jesus was my absolute favourite.
The "Orphanage" in Gugulethu. I love visiting this place! Not only for the fun and playing with the kids, or them repeatedly yelling "umlungu, umlungu" (white person in Xhosa) at me, but because of the way these people love Jesus and demonstrate His love to the world. It's been a honour to help in any way possible - digging in the garden, hanging washing on the line and folding it, helping to make lunch, jumping on the trampoline with the kids. Such a blessing!
And this is where my heart was stolen. Themba Care, just feet away from where I sleep every night. I've never ever had to face such tragedy and pain, but I've also never experienced the depth of God's love than when these children are in my arms! His compassion for us is like the compassion that an infant brings in a parent.