Of course my faith and trust in God have all been dependent on my circumstances and emotions. Not a good idea people. BUT, praise God that He doesn't leave us in our sinful and messed up state. Thank God that He desires to mould us, that He is the Potter and we are the clay in His hands. I'm beyond thankful for this!
This trial, as I've described, has definitely been a roller coaster of a trial :) The first few weeks I tried to work things out in my own strength. I tried really hard to "fix" the situation. I even did what I knew was blatantly wrong and allowed my emotions to carry me away, thinking that things would just "work out" if it was God's will in the end. "No, my love...not how it works." Ha, thanks God. I realise that now. SOO, after another week or so, I actually realised that God was working within me to change me into a better person. Haha again! That caused me to go into this frenzy of "doing & being" a better person. All I wanted was to be perfect, so I tried to do things the right way - still working out of my strength rather than God's. And now, here I am, realising that God's main purpose in all of this is to draw my heart to His. "You won't relent until You have it all, my heart is Yours." God won't relent until all of our heart is His, and thats exactly where I am now. He is challenging me to place HIM as a seal over my heart, as a seal over my arm, because HIS love is as strong as death. He is jealous for me, jealousy that is demanding as the grave. He desires the best for me! It burns as a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. (Song of Solomon 8:6- my paraphrase).
ANYWHO! The point of this blog is to actually encourage you through whatever trial you may be facing. God is busy. That's the main thing I want you to know. He is busy drawing your heart closer to His, and teaching you to trust and depend on Him with every aspect of your life.
Christ came into the world so that we could have life, and not just endure it or barely make it through, but so that we can have it abundantly. Do you see that? A b u n d a n t l y. He hasn't excluded difficult times, trials, suffering, pain, or tests from this word life. The two go hand in hand, and difficulties are woven into every single person's life. So, rather than simply enduring these trials, EMBRACE them. Do you see that one too? E m b r a c e. Realise that God is using this time to mould you, to make you better, to display His love to you more and more so you can recognise His glory.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers (and sisters), whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
But now, this is what the LORD says - He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I summoned you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour. Isaiah 43:1-3
He has made everything beautiful in it's time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
I'm praying for you!