If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:5-8
What if God calls me to live full time in Africa?
What if He asks me to leave all my family and friends and go to a place where I know ONE person?
What if God tells me to enroll in college in South Africa?
What if God tells me to forsake everything but Him and my relationship with Him?
What if He says, "Use all your money..but don't fret about it, I have it all under control."
Or "Yeah..you won't fit in there at all. I didn't fit in with My own creation either."
What if this is the last season of fall that I will experience in these mountains?
What if God asks me not to buy another car?
What if I just want my life to be "normal"?
What if I'm scared to death of leaving?
What if I have doubts that this trip will fall through like the last one?
What if I'm not able to learn well over there, since it's a completely different country?
What if I don't have enough time to graduate early?
What if God is telling me to throw all my "what if's" out the window and to hold unswervingly to Him because He has promised me, and He is faithful.
So, I'm going to stop with my "what if's" and hold onto the fact that I'm going to Africa. I trust that God is completely capable of providing my every need and will prepare me in every way possible. The Lord has already been preparing me in so many different and difficult ways and I'm begging that you pray for me through this time. It's crazy how the thing I am most scared of is the biggest desire of my heart.
The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you." Genesis 12:1