But in return we're being destroyed, slowly but surely.
We're continually wanting our security to be tanglible, and obvious, and affectionate. Something we can hold and grasp onto. We want it to be affirmed now. We've been raised in a world that tells us our security is based on another's opinion of us. Perfectionism has noted every mistake, error, fault, flaw, and blemish in and on us like a check list against us. We've been whispered to by our ugly culture, believing that our worth is based on our beauty, or sex appeal, or the amount of attention the opposite sex gives. So what do our hearts do? They reach out. They try to check our lists and get more checks on the “good” side rather than on the ugly side that we tend to think is reality - what defines us. We reach out for affection and affirmation from our check lists, the attention we're given, the compliments we recieve. We want people to adore us, our faults and our failures included.
And that's normal.
But if that is what determines our worth, it's not healthy.
Not when our heart loses sight of the love our Father has for us.
Our sight tends to fixate on the now, and we've been swept up into a continual cycle of affirmation and condemnation. Leaving us dependant and desperate for those around us to dictate who we are and the amount of worth we possess.
Our worth is not determined based on what others around us confirm or think. Our worth, Lord, is found in the fact that “You know me...and You are familiar with all my ways.” You know us. You've searched us. You have created us intimately and intentionally. You see us in what we think is absolute darkness and failure and loss – but it is all light to you. You saw us while we were unformed, yet every single day of our lives were written in Your book. And through it all, You laid Your hand upon us and You never leave. Never. (Psalm 139)
That alone confirms my security and worth.
That alone confirms your security and worth.
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes. Psalm 112:7-8
Don't buy into the that lie your heart or the world around you screams. Renew your mind to His truth.
He knows you, and loves you more in this moment than anyone could love you in an entire lifetime. You've been lavishly loved!
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1a