Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Homesick for Heaven.

I really shouldn't be writing a blog right now since I have tons of assignments and exams to study for... but I know I won't sleep until I get this written so I'm doing it now. Oh boy I've missed home so much the past week. I've obviously met many many new people in the past 2 months, and every time I meet a new person it reminds me of the people I've left at home. I've been able to go out and spend time with people my age, and getting to know them is a blessing from God. I truly am thankful for them and the new friendships I've made, but it makes me think about my BEST friends who are oceans away. I moved onto campus Sunday and by Tuesday evening I was sick with a tummy bug. Other students who live on campus came and took care of me, checking up on me and making sure I had everything I needed. It was so genuine of them, but it made me miss home, my own bed, and my mommy.

Sometimes I feel so foreign. I feel as if I'm on another planet, miles and miles away from people who understand me and know me. That has been the most difficult part of all of this, is the fact that no one really knows me here. No one truly understands who I am. Not yet at least, and I realize I must have patience. It's still difficult.

And then God reminds me yet again who He is. He tells me, "I KNOW YOU." He knows my laugh. He knows why I giggle and that I giggle at everything and anything, even when things aren't funny. He knows how my toes spread out when I stand up and how insecure I am about them. He knows how I have a tan line on my right arm under my Passion 2012 bracelet. He knows how half of the time I don't understand what people are saying to me, so I politely nod and act like I understand. He knows every hair on my head. He knows my thoughts before I think them, yet listens to me day in and day out. He understands what I mean when I talk about being awkward. He knows the deepest parts of my past, and I love that He knows. He's the only person I'm completely comfortable talking about it to. He knows my dreams and I trust Him completely with my future.

From the perspective of a young woman, I know how my heart desires to find the man I will marry. And this is simply because that man will stand by me until death parts us. My husband will be my absolute best friend and will know me like no other person on earth. Even God says it's not good for man to be alone, so He made Adam a helper. But the friendship I will have with my husband is just a shadow of the relationship Christ desires to have with me now. Death will never part me from Christ but bring us closer. I can't even describe how I am so in love with this man. I'm amazed how He loves me. He understands me. He wants to talk to me. He listens to my every thought and the cry of my heart. And you know what? He wants to know you. His heart longs to speak to you daily. He can fill any desire in your heart and bring you to complete satisfaction and contentment. He will stay by you faithfully and always care for you. So, even when the world doesn't understand you completely or know your true self, Christ does. He so desires for you to know Him too.

I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19

Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. Psalm 73:25

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