It's hard to get it through my thick head that not everything is going to go my way. I make all these plans and most of the time expect God to fulfill exactly what I desire. HAHA! Not how it works Corina. I learned it the hard way this time. My plans fell through, and it hurt. I was mad and confused. Why? "God, can't You just do this for me? Just this time?" No is all I heard. I couldn't help but feel like a failure. Who am I to know God's will? I truly thought this was it. I felt incapable, embarrassed, and doubtful. How would I have the courage to take any more "leaps of faith" like this one? "God, I want to hear You." And the whole time He was saying, "No...no...no...no. Baby girl, you've got it all wrong. You aren't truly listening to Me. Look at this, just try to imagine with your limited mind, that I have your life in My hands. I have every single moment written in my Book of Life. You are not capable of knowing and or understanding My will. Just trust Me. I love you, I'll take good care of you."
You may be questioning what's happening in your life. You may have all these loveLy plans, but nothing seems to happen the way you'd like. I understand how bad it hurts. Have faith beloved. God is in control.
Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told. Habakkuk 1:5
Lord, I have heard of Your fame;
I stand in awe of Your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy. Habakkuk 3:2
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16
Remember these. I've clung so tightly to these verses the past few weeks. He is always in control and has a greater plan for us then we will ever be able to perceive. His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts higher than our thoughts. Cling to God today.
Keep your eyes out the next few days, God has brought something beautiful from this situation. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging much longer. I'll explain everything that happened. :)