The rough concrete under my bare legs scratched coarsely as I rocked back and forth crying, “Mommy please let me in!” Surrounded by still darkness, I did not dare attempt to open the door. I knew it remained locked. I could not feel the cutting wind or the fat raindrops hit me, solely consumed by how invisible I felt as she stared at me chillingly. My uncontrollable shivering stemmed not from the cold November night, but the overwhelming knowledge of my mother’s love locked away from me on the other side of that glass door; separated from my Mommy’s warm arms. An act done by her with intention.
Flash-forward… I now lay covered by the new blankets in my new bed, hearing echoes of my new family giggling and playing downstairs. Warm and safe, protected and loved describe the emotions that now fill my once lonely heart. Thankfully, a family opened their life, their home and most importantly, their arms to accept me. They set an example of what I am called to do with my life.
Speaking to helpless children of neglect, young adults filled with loneliness, and men and women around the world with starving hearts allows me to share my message of hope. The intimate message of the love that found me, a love that took an orphan in, now explodes from within me. That gift of love demonstrated towards me draws my heart to do the same for others. Advocacy of mental illnesses that daily pollute the lives of children proves a cause worthy to fight for. I want to study psychology in the hope of grasping the human mind, the illnesses and tendencies of different diseases. This education will equip me with knowledge a child psychologist requires, proactively speaking for children unable to defend themselves. Counseling children and leading them into lives unhindered by mental illnesses motivates me to make a difference for them just as a family made a difference for a little girl on the wrong side of the door.
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18