True Love..

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is His name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth. Isaiah 54:5

Before I even start writing, I want to let you know that this blog is going to be very hard to write, and to organize and put into understandable words rather than my crazy thoughts. Please bear with me.

Here I go.. Dating. Boys. Crushes. The life of a teenage girl! So many girls feel that their worth or value is found by how a boy feels toward or treats them. I can attest to this. Honestly, what girl can't? I've talked to so many girls and I've heard many stories of girls who have had their heart "broken" because they placed their worth and trust in a guy. "Been there, done that, wore those sweat pants."

So, here is my view on dating. You might be surprised and kind of confused but I promise I'll do my best to explain. I don't think dating, personally, is the best thing for me right now. And to some of you who know me, you know that I've made a commitment to God not to date in high school. I've even gone as far as to not read books with love stories in them, or watch love movies. I'm basically trying to abstain from any sort of worldly portrait of love that will corrupt my view of true love. It's been VERY hard. I've had to skip out on birthday parties, on group sleep overs and a bunch of other things where girls get together and watch those kinds of movies. Not that it's wrong for everyone, but personally I can't handle them. I'm the kind of person who thinks about things a LOT. If I watch a love movie or read a story I will think and idolize that person for hours even weeks on end. I know that may sound a little creepy, but I'm betting I'm not the only one. Here are the two main reasons I've decided this is best for me. 

1)INFATUATION
I can honestly say at times, most of the time, I place the thought (since I'm not actually in a relationship) of having a relationship with a boy before God, making the thought an idol. That's where it truly becomes a problem and that's why I made a commitment to God and am trying to stick to it, "fixing our eyes on Jesus."

"Anything I put before my God is an idol. Anything I want with all my heart is an idol. Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol. Anything that I give all of my love is an idol. We must not worship something that's not even worth it. Clear the stage and make some space for the One who deserves it." This is a song called Clear the Stage by Ross King. The lyrics bring conviction to my heart. 

“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." Exodus 20:3-6 

     

Just to be clear, God is not jealous of us, He is jealous for us. He sees the motives of our hearts and recognizes when we displace Him as God. He sets these commands because He wants the best for us, and He knows that when anyone places their value in anything but Him, they will be broken. He is our Maker, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. When we place our hearts, our desires, our longings in His hands, he perfects us. He shows His love to a thousand generations! 

2)SELF-SACRIFICE
"Relationships with the opposite sex can no longer be about 'having a good time' or 'learning what I want in a relationship.' They're not to be about getting, but giving. Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do what's in his or her best interest. To care for him or her even when there's nothing in it for us. To want that person's purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her." Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye 

Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar. But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, waled quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.  Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David. "I'm...I'm sorry, Anna, he said, staring at the floor.  "Who are these girls, David? What's going on?" she gasped. "They're girls from my past," he answered sadly. "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now...but I've given part of my heart to each of them."  "I thought your heart was mine," she said. "It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours." A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up.

This story breaks my heart. I so badly want to give my husband my whole heart, but I know I've already given part of myself away. Not necessarily physically, but mentally and emotionally. I was thinking about it just today in the car. I wish it would be as simple as knowing who I was going to marry and being able to give my whole heart to him. If only it was that easy, but it's not. I need to devote myself to waiting patiently for that person, and praying for my own purity and his. 

This is going to be the most important thing I write.. Please listen to how awesome this is! In Ezekiel 16:4-19 God is speaking specifically to Jerusalem. I think we can take this and relate it to what He says to us:
    On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.
    “‘Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine. 

    “‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.
    “‘But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty. You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.  And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered my oil and incense before them. Also the food I provided for you—the flour, olive oil and honey I gave you to eat—you offered as fragrant incense before them. That is what happened, declares the Sovereign LORD. 

I'm learning that God pursues us. He takes His time to get to know us. He sees us kicking ourselves in a puddle of blood. He cleans us up, bathing us in water and cleans the blood from our faces, gently putting medicine on us. Giving us life, forming us as we grow and making us beautiful, clothing us in the most extravagant clothes and jewelry. He makes us His, giving us His eternal covenant. He tells us that He will always love us, He will never leave us. Yet we don't realize who our first love was. We were nothing before God came to us and made us into a beauty. And I dare to say we break His heart everyday, because He longs for us and yet we long for another. We use everything He gave us to fulfill our own desires and seek another man. 

I pray that every girl who is seeking their worth in a man, will fall face first and look up to see that God is the one there with open arms. Waiting to clean us up and make us His. He is the only One who can give us worth. And He deserves every part of our heart.